Still Christmas shopping? Well I just found the perfect gift for anyone…and everyone. Who gives a fuck about the time when pong is involved? Thank me later.

Good news, I’m not dead! I know I have somewhat abandoned this site this month, so I figured I would post just so both my readers (me being one of them) know that I haven’t yet fled for the Mexican border. I’ve been pretty busy with the holiday season, work, and, and expanding upon my ever-growing collection of Golden Girls merchandise. I guess thats the benefit of having an “awful” blog. By not posting for periods of time…I am only living up to my own name.

Anyways, lets get on to the part where I waste your time with immature videos. The following is probably NSFW, but that’s what you get for surfing the net and wasting the almighty company dollar. Will Ferrell pretty much makes anything caught on camera an instant classic. Even if this is a little more offensive than his usual stuff, you can’t ignore a video with great lines such as… “I’ve got a murder boner!!!“

I remember seeing the trailer for the new Beowulf movie and thinking “man, I need to watch 300 again”. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who noticed the odd similarities between the two movies. However, the similarities between the two trailers is what I find truly amazing (and depressing). Check out the link below for the original post, and full comparison…

Thanks to FXRant for this one.

I was glad to discover that one of my favorite blogs appears to have made it’s return. Drew Bledsoe uses his blog (TonyHomo.com) to provide fantastic insight and analysis on not just the football world, but life in general. Combining criticism of the Cowboys (specifically Romo) with hamburgers…. somebody should have came up with this idea long ago.

This guy took the Lambeau Leap to a whole other level, but at least he got to do it donning the colors of his favorite football team. What I want to know is what that poor guy had to do in order to convince his bride to go through with the whole thing (assuming it was his idea). She pretty much wins any argument that they will have throughout their marriage. Hope it was worth it, dude.

As I practiced my pre-work morning ritual of eating cereal while surfing the net in nothing but my boxers…I read a great post from Guy. It got me thinking about all of the stupid (and awesome) stuff that guys tend to do to one another. The post reminded me of what is still one of my all time favorite pranks to pull on a buddy….

I’m afraid this is one Man Law I am going to have to refuse to follow.

I have been obsessed with song-talking lately. I don’t think “song-talking” is an actual phrase, but I don’t know what else to call it…so I just made something up. Song-talking is an act where one will attempt to sneak random song lyrics into normal conversation (which means little to no singing). The lyrics should fit into the conversation, so that others don’t notice right away. Once you have managed to get a couple lines in unnoticed, its completely acceptable(and encouraged) to break into song to reveal your true intentions…and brag about your success.

Instead of trying to explain further, I will let Turk from Scrubs provide a perfect example…

Here are a couple observations/thoughts I have had on Halloween this year…

- It is annoying to have a hound dog when you have kids coming to your door every thirty seconds.

- Kids with facial hair (real facial hair, not part of a costume) should not be coming to my door for candy.

- Its a crime that I can’t find a video of the SNL skit where John Travolta plays a version of Dracula who is trying to convince his guests he is not gay.

- I don’t care how young he was, the kid in the Michael Vick jersey needs to read a newspaper. Although it was funny when Sawyer barked at him.

- Sometimes, I take a little peace and quiet for granted.

Its the female orgasm that’s the myth.

Just one of many great quotes from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. But now, instead of watching the movie for the 8oth time, you can play with the inaction figures. Use the menu on the left to check out cool stuff from the other movies of the View Askew universe. Immature humor meets odd looking toys…it doesn’t get better than that.

I guess if you live in the New England area…yesterday was one of the best days in recent memory. As a warm-up, you watch the Patriots embarrass the Redskins. I’m not a skins fan myself(although I do live in the area), but that didn’t make yesterday’s 52-7 “contest” any easier to watch. Afterwards you get to move on to watch the Redsox win the World Series. With the World Series secure, Boston College doing great, and Tom Brady deciding how he will wear four rings…it looks like New England may soon own the sports universe. I would rather be here for the end of the world than have to hear another annoying Bostonian gloat about how great it is to be a sports fan in New England. I think its the accent that makes it truly unbearable.

On a lighter but still football related note, check out this crazy lateral play from Trinity (if you haven’t already).