Respect the Beard

July 16, 2007

I just bought a uber-cheap Jake Plummer Broncos jersey online. The reason it was so cheap is due to the fact that he no longer plays for the Broncos, and has announced his retirement. Normally I wouldn’t buy the jersey of a retired mediocre QB, but this was an exception for two reasons. First, although not my favorite team…I was born in Denver, and have always had a soft spot for the Broncos. Second, if you know me…you know I have had a man crush on Jake Plummer for a couple years.My man crush stems from my jealousy of his ability to grow facial hair at an uncanny rate. Jake Plummer has what I like to refer to as a “man beard”. Lots of men can grow beards, but only a select few can grow a “man beard”. A beard that says “Yeah, I have a beard…what the hell are you gonna’ do about it”, a beard that makes you think “that guy probably fights mountain lions on the weekends”. So what if Jake Plummer is an interception machine, or that he is known to scramble when it is not necessary…his man beard easily makes up for any of his shortcomings.

Maybe one day I will be able to grow a full out beard in under 2 hours, just like Pornstache Plummer. Until then, I will have to be content wearing his jersey. In all honesty, I never thought he was as bad of a QB as people made him out to be…I’ll just have to convince others of that.

Since good causes are always popular, also check out The Jake Plummer Foundation. The man not only has kick ass beard, but his own kick ass logo. Keep rockin’ Jake, keep rockin’!


2 Responses to “Respect the Beard”

  1. Sportsattitude Says:

    Recent article in the Colorado Springs Gazette:

    Presents both sides of an obviously very complex guy. One thing I think a lot of folks forget is that Jake was good friends with Pat Tillman. I am sure Jake is looking at the big picture and deciding life is too short to serve as a backup or just another journeyman QB. I never thought he was as bad as lots of folks made him out to be. Like any QB, he needed to be in an environment suited to his style and skills and Denver was not a good fit.

  2. Guy Says:

    I also have the facial hair envy. Maybe the jersey is magical and you will soon be sporting a huge mountain man beard. But remember with a great beard comes great responsibility.

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