Time for Pong

December 2, 2007

Still Christmas shopping? Well I just found the perfect gift for anyone…and everyone. Who gives a fuck about the time when pong is involved? Thank me later.

The Power of Green

November 28, 2007

Good news, I’m not dead! I know I have somewhat abandoned this site this month, so I figured I would post just so both my readers (me being one of them) know that I haven’t yet fled for the Mexican border. I’ve been pretty busy with the holiday season, work, and, and expanding upon my ever-growing collection of Golden Girls merchandise. I guess thats the benefit of having an “awful” blog. By not posting for periods of time…I am only living up to my own name.

Anyways, lets get on to the part where I waste your time with immature videos. The following is probably NSFW, but that’s what you get for surfing the net and wasting the almighty company dollar. Will Ferrell pretty much makes anything caught on camera an instant classic. Even if this is a little more offensive than his usual stuff, you can’t ignore a video with great lines such as… “I’ve got a murder boner!!!

That Time of Year Again…

September 1, 2007

I completed my fantasy football draft this week, and their are some picks that I would like to have back. I figured I would take this moment to post my team, so that any other ff geeks can have something to look at besides their opponent for the first week. So here they are, with a brief personal comment next to each. I would love to see what some fellow football nerds did with their draft, so respond with a roster if you have it.

Willie Parker – My first pick as I was the last of 10 owners, so the RB pickings were slim
Frank Gore – Second pick (back to back with 1st), due to a promising first year.
Donovan McNabb – I know, big risk…but it was a homer pick. I have faith.
T.J. Houshmandzadeh – I had Chad Johnson last year, who was a bum until I traded him. I went with TJ this year.
Javon Walker – Eagles are my favorite team, but I have a soft spot for Denver.
Kevin Curtis – Homer pick…again. I hope this guy works out for us.
Vernon Davis – Showing some MD love, plus he is all muscle.
David Akers – Some would say this is a homer pick as well, but he is a damn good kicker, and I got him late.
New England – My starting defense .

Backups
Carnell Williams – I know the Cadillac was hard to spot last year, but I’m hoping it was a sophomore slump. Plus he is a backup
Mark Clayton – Good backup who could take a starting roll.
Jeff Garcia – Shoulda’ picked up a backup QB sooner, that’s all I can say.
Muhsin Muhammad – Decent backup.
Jerious Norwood – Backup, hopefully more carries without Vick.
Eric Johnson
San Francisco – Backup defense.

Maddening

August 1, 2007

I would not describe myself as a superstitious fellow. I don’t believe in the the 7 years of bad luck from breaking a mirror, walking under a ladder, something about a black cat…I don’t pay attention to any of it. But at a certain point, some phenomenas go beyond superstition…and step into the world of undeniable fact. I am talking of course…about the Madden Curse.

For those of you who may not be aware, the Madden Curse comes from the popular Madden video game series from EA Sports. Until 2001, John Madden put his ugly mug on the cover of every Madden title, not unlike Oprah does with her magazine (don’t get my started on that). Finally somebody stopped the insanity, and decided that it would be a good idea to have a different star player adorn the cover each year. The myth suggests that a player’s appearance on the cover, will be shortly followed by a curse (either injury, or poor performance). Sounds ridiculous right? Well look at the facts sucka….

note: Madden is released prior to the regular NFL season. For example Madden 2007 is actually released in the late summer of 2006.

2001: Eddie George is the first player to appear by himself on the cover of a Madden title. That year, he loses a fumble that costs the Titans the AFC Championship game. A toe injury plagues Eddie the entire following season.

2002: Daunte Culpepper appears on the cover, and plays 11 games of what was turning out to be a poor season(13 int, 14 td passes). He was not able to play through the rest of the season due to a problematic back injury.

2003: Marshall Faulk missed several games due to an ankle injury, after appearing on the cover. Although he had a productive season (for what he was able to play), he would never again break 1,000 yards.

2004: Michael Vick fractures his right fibula in a pre-season game, and was not able to play until the final five games of the season. Now look where he is.

2005: Baltimore’s Ray Lewis appears on the cover of Madden, and breaks his wrist that same season.

2006: Donovan McNabb appears on the 2005 Madden cover. In the 2004/2005 season opener he suffers a sports hernia…but continues to play. In game 11 of the same season, he suffers a groin injury and his season is ended early. McNabb is also cursed off the field that year, via an ongoing feud with former teammate Terrell Owens.

2007: Shaun Alexander misses six games due to a broken foot the same year that he appears on the Madden 07 cover. Also, the author of this blog is foolish enough to draft the Seattle running back in fantasy football. Thanks allot Shaun.

What does all of this mean? My theory is that John Madden has cursed these players for steeling his spotlight, with the hopes that EA will eventually put him back on the cover. Well the curse could stop here, due to the fact that there was a “Hall of Fame Edition” of Madden 2007 released with such a cover. Will this satisfy the monster, or will the carnage continue? I guess we will find out this year, as Vince Young has been announced as the cover boy for Madden 08.

Book of the Dead

July 18, 2007

I recently finished reading “The Zombie Survival Guide” by Max Brooks. It was written as a satire for fans of zombies as well as those interested in survival guides (awesome show), regarding the zombie attack that we all know is coming. The author does a good job of not breaking from the serious tone, which makes the guide that much more enjoyable. It actually had me thinking…”I’ll have to remember that during the outbreak”. The end of the book even has “actual recorded zombie attacks”…which adds a whole new level of entertainment. All in all a fun casual read.

I will warn you, that I had several people look at me strange when they saw the title of the book I was reading. I wonder if those same people will ask for my help while the undead eat their loved ones? Next up…How To Survive a Robot Uprising.

ex-box

May 24, 2007

Rings of DeathDear X-Box 360:
I can’t say I’m very happy with how you have been acting lately. I’m not sure where you got this “three red lights” thing from, but I don’t find it amusing. Now I have to send you off to Texas for repairs. I feel like you just got here, and you are already hitting the road. At least they have extended your warranty, it makes the situation a little more bearable.

I won’t lie, your timing could be better. I just bought you a gamefly subscription, and this is how you repay me? Frankly, the whole thing makes me sick. Regardless, we are still close…and I wish you a safe return. Hopefully your friend in customer service will have everything to me as quick as possible, even if I did have to spell out half of our conversation.

Sincerely,
Patrick

P.S. – Please don’t mess with Texas, from what I understand…they frown upon that type of thing.